Saturday, January 5, 2013


Well, I haven’t done this in a while. But this week has been strange, and I am just trying to process it all. In some ways, I am only processing it in terms of gain and loss. This week I have lost my best friend to a faraway state, I am losing two more to far away living situations later this week, I am having trouble finding a job, my physical health is suffering (not as bad as I thought it would be though), and my heart hurts incredibly. However, I have gained new friends within the Youth and jr. high ministry’s, I have felt joy in serving them and helping them gain in Christ, I have gained some good time and conversation with my Lord and Savior, and feel closer to those friends who I have had to lean on in this time.

In the end, I feel the gain over the loss. Not that the loss doesn’t carry as much weight, but more that even through the loss I am learning and growing, so gaining essentially. Still, I feel like my heart is cut open and bleeding, and I just hold onto it and keep trying to serve and live. I hold onto that gain knowing that God brings joy with the morning, that He is in control, and that He comforts the afflicted. I am letting that thought just wash over me every time the hurt tries to sweep me away. So even in the pain, I am holding onto that joy, holding onto that hope. Even in the pain I am claiming victory in my life, through Jesus Christ. I will keep laughing, keep loving people, keep serving where I have been placed. Lord give me strength to do it.
To culminate this post, the bridge from a beautiful song called Give me Faith by Elevate Worship is my only conclusion to this long week:
"I may be weak
But your Spirit’s strong in me
My flesh may fail
My God you never will!"

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