Where Beginners are Welcome: Starting to Understand True Worship

“Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying:

“‘Holy, holy, holy

is the Lord God Almighty,’^[a]

who was, and is, and is to come.’” Rev 4:8

Worship. An exclamation, a proclamation of worth. Proclaimed through actions, words, thoughts, and consistent adoration. Giving up something of yourself to show how great another is.

Worship, in many modern church's, seems to work on a formula. It goes something like: catchy, slightly repetitive song + dim lights = worship.This is not necessarily a bad thing, but we (the ones desiring to be a true worshiper) have a responsibility beyond halfheartedly bobbing our heads to the music. What many “worshipers” (or those distant participants in the formula) don’t seem to realize is, that true worship can’t be CREATED by a formula, or by anyone else, it can only be created by us; our own hearts. WE, as worshipers, as forgiven people, create in ourselves an altar and our own lives as the sacrifice on it. Noah built an altar, Moses built an altar, Isaac built an altar, and they did not expect someone else to build it for them, in the same way we build our own "altars" of worship.

Don’t get me wrong, I love worship music, I often leave it on during the day to help me focus and meditate on God. But worship itself flows out of the deepest parts of ourselves. Sometimes our grateful hearts find it easy; it just comes, and other times it’s a struggle. In those times that we don’t “feel” it, we need to realize that He still DESERVES it. Sometimes I just stand during worship segments in physical or mental pain and speak “Jesus” over and over.  Sometimes I stop and ask Him for more passion, for more desire. If I only know how to love, because He first loved me, it follows that He also helps birth in me more passion.

This week examine yourself in worship. Make up your own lyrics. Meditate on the words, and what they truly mean to you. Make a fool of yourself for Christ by dancing if you feel worship rushing through you. Worship when there is music and when its silent. Worship; proclaim out loud or in your heart (or through your actions, your boast in Him) how much He means, how great He is, every time He comes to mind. I am going to, or try to. I know my worship is still an offering of filthy rag’s compared to what He deserves, but He sees it as beautiful because we are in Christ. Be willing to make the sacrifice, and don’t expect it to always be easy. We're all beginners it seems, but He welcomes us to his holy place, ready for us to spend time with Him, how can we resist?

Thoughts on helpful worship progressions: Ask for forgiveness (so you do not try and enter the throne room dirty) -> ; meditate on the joy of forgiveness and the greatness of the sacrifice -> ; use the words to songs to help voice the thankfulness and elevation of God -> ; when those words are no longer sufficient, create your own words to lift as praise.

Can Rich People Go to Heaven?

The Bible shows snippets of so many lives, sometimes it’s easy to pass over them thinking “oh, that’s nice, people meeting Jesus.” But as rich Westerners, there are some encounters that should really catch our attention. One that has always stuck with me (with some worry) is the story of the rich man who wanted to be a part of the Kingdom of God (Matt 19:16, Mark 10:17). But he isn’t the only rich man mentioned by far, there are many others, some Jesus commended, and others he rebuked. Zacchaeus (Luke 19) is an interesting one though, because in all ways, the opposite of ‘the rich man,’ except that they were both wealthy, and both went out one day interested to see Jesus.

          Looking first at the story of the rich man, we see he comes right up to Jesus, confident, wanting to hear what more he could possibly do to make himself good enough to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. He boasts proudly that he has kept the commandments. But Jesus gently catches him, he sees immediately that the man has not kept the first and most important commandment, to have no other Gods. This man, upon hearing that the only way to get eternal life was through giving up every worldly possession to follow Christ, just left sadly. He was undone. He left knowing he had the choice of which master to serve. He came to Jesus assuming he had it almost all together, but that meant there was no room for Jesus, so Christ asked the man to make room. As far as we know, he did not.

          Now, unlike this “righteous” wealthy man, Zacchaeus (let’s maybe just call him Zac), came to Jesus a swindler; a thief; a sneaky little dude. He wanted to see Jesus, but instead of coming to him head on, he climbed a tree and waited. When Jesus saw Zac; truly saw him and loved him as he was, something changed in Zac’s heart. Maybe it was two sizes two small before but it grew! He came to Jesus with no such offers of a life that followed the rules, all he could do was take the offer of new life and change. He told Jesus that he was going to do something immediately , to give back what he had taken and much more. He held nothing back, because now he had something far more valuable. He found a God more important than money or good works. His emptiness had been filled.

          I think when Jesus talks about how hard it was for a rich man to Get into the Kingdom of God, in many ways he was talking about someone who thought they were already good, rich in themselves. This man had everything he could want, and desired nothing. Zacchaeus, came having all the same earthly possessions, but knew he had nothing to speak of integrity-wise, he was so far away from a good person, he desperately needed a savior, he was poor. We are called to live knowing we are wretched poor and needy without the grace of the cross. As soon as we lose focus on that, and begin to see ourselves as “pretty darn righteous” we may no longer be opening space to let God give to us.

Fasting- It's Like Killing "Me"... But In a Good way!

Well, I am finishing day 3 of a 21 day Daniel fast. Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t say that to brag on myself, but to brag on the Lord (who is teaching me so much already), and in hopes you decide to give it a try too. In so many ways I wish I had been doing this more regularly, it is such an essential discipline, and so few people practice it.

First, I am finding out how week I truly am. I literally feel like I am dying for some of my usual cravings, or really anything that I can’t have right now. Working at my job (a chocolate store) tonight, I found out that my mind could make up just about any excuse to convince me to take something sweet. It was amazing! I never knew how inventive my mind could be when it wanted something (I didn’t give in, thankfully). I feel my flesh starting to rebel against this already. It’s a terrible and wonderful feeling. I know my spirit is stronger, I won't let my flesh-self lead.

Also, toady I found out how much more important the word of God is that food (I knew it was more, but this was a particular potent experience). This morning I forgot to read my usual passage or two, though I managed to eat my fruit without forgetting. When we called the shop to check on my car, and found out they had forgotten to look at it, I threw an “adult”, righteous-anger-like tantrum. It was horrifying, I was horrified with myself. I knew it was time to jump back in the Word, felt better. And I thought the lack of food would be making me grumpy!

I have been learning about patience, and pressing in toward God. I know there is more of this to come. For some reason I expected immediate results, but they are not coming. Realistically I know though, I am going to have to press in further, and struggle more, before I break through to the answers I need. If (God forbid), I have to go another month than planned, I will. There are questions that NEED answers, I need direction, I need open doors, and there is a good chance I don’t even really know what I really need! I am expectant, I am pressing on. Join me if you dare to find out who you truly are behind your comfortable and well-fed façade! 

Faith Progress: Pilgrim’s, Israelites, and a Wanderer Like Me

Sometimes I stop and imagine my life like Pilgrims Progress. I sit quietly and see myself like Christian, pained, wondering, and fighting. Us both often feeling totally helpless, in a world that confuses and often tries to harm us. I see myself going to that old cross on the hill and watching my heavy burden roll back down the slope. We are similar in that many times it’s hard to tell the difference between allies and traps. I have always felt a strong connection to this character, the feeling of being a wanderer on a journey from somewhere you thought was home to your true home. Sometimes I feel like the path just disappears though, like I am walking around in circles instead of moving forward. I know what I want, and what I need, but how to get there seems like a total mystery. Especially when I hear God speak, I know His will, but it seems impossible. Do I decide that I am just walking around the strong walls of Jericho one more time (Joshua 6)? Or that maybe I failed to hear Him correctly and I am just stuck in a rut. How do I know if it is Jericho or not? Well, I guess if I look at scripture the difference between walking in the dessert for 40 years (Joshua 5) and walking around the walls is simply faith. The Israelites ran out of faith, stopped trying the impossible, and got stuck in a 40 year rut. While Joshua led the Israelites to do something ridiculous and impossible, in faith, knowing God comes through. So what am I really going to do? I guess it always comes down to that, and I'm still working on that. I have to just move forward like Christian, holding tight to my hope, knowing I can control only my own choices. I guess I just need to be the best representation of Jesus I can be, and if the opportunity He expressed to me comes, then I do the ridiculous. Faith is about as hard as patience sometimes, and together, wow, look out. But I want to see my life as an adventure, to see it in all of its beauty and all of its pain. I want to have faith that God will give me what I need, He knows what I greatly desire better than even I do. I think, like always, it’s time to pick my head up and keep walking like Christian. Time to deal with choosing Jericho.

Focus on the Heartbeat

Tonight I heard it, or felt it, almost tasted it even. What was "it"? The closest thing I can describe it as, was the heartbeat of God. It felt like I had reached out and touched the pulse of the world in all of its fast pace, the good and the bad. In my mind I could see cities and neighborhoods. I saw all ages, people, even countries worlds away. I could briefly hear the singing of a distant third world church. I felt connected to them in a way I have not felt ever before. With all this came this immense feeling of peace for people, and a desire to help. I held no grudges, felt no anger. There was an abounding love pouring into and out of me. The most astonishing thing to be was the feeling of detachment though. In the past I have always been a person who wants to please others, live up to their expectations, to have life planned. Tonight I let them all go. Every expectation for my life, every desire I have had, I put it down. I smile even now as I type, feeling the dust or travel on my feet. I know I am not home. I felt for a moment like a wanderer, taking the opportunities to love as they came, not attached to a plan or agenda. We always come to the thrown lonely, naked, and poor, and I am not different, coming into this world with nothing. The Bible says to the lukewarm church in Rev 3: “You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. ¹⁸ I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.” And once he has clothed us, loved us, and given us a place with Him, He asks that we bring others to Him so he can do the same for them.

I felt my call again, a desire to do the work of the Lord with all my life. It was like an echo of a song I couldn’t resist. I let everything go, not in a way where I don’t care or give up. I don’t feel apathy or darkness, the way I usually deal with pain or fear. I felt hope! I felt like nothing people expected of me mattered, and nothing I expected of me mattered either. I feel like I can go anywhere, and do anything as I am called. Right now though He asked me to wait, to love where there was opportunity, to keep my eyes focused on Him. I asked for His plan, but He told me to just take it as it comes. I have never felt so free. Though a small part of me wants to know what He is going to do, most of me just sighs in relief. I can feel joy tingling through me. Joy really does come after pain. God has changed me, and I don’t want to go back, not ever. He told me I would be grounded in His plan again soon enough, but still free. I am Christina, far from home, belonging only to God, waiting for marching orders.  I hope you hear the heartbeat, I want to hear it again, hear it every day for the rest of my life.

Anime Life (Some Awesome Things Anime’s have Taught Me)

Ok, so I haven't seen too much anime, but what I have watched I have really enjoyed. Obviously, like any genre there are good and bad, and some that are mixed. Some of my favorite include my childhood favorite; Digimon, and more recent watches; Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, and Soul Eater. Plus, some awesome movies (Miyazaki's stuff for sure!) and games. Overall I have always been impressed by the character depth that the writers put into these. In most cases, characters are not just defined as “good” or “bad,” they are mixed, all of them.

Here are some cool concepts I have over and over in anime:

Viewpoint is important: 

Often I find I have to correct myself for feeling as though someone is wrong for doing or believing something I wouldn’t. Now, I do believe there is a right and wrong, a true morality, but for many things, people act based on their experience. Anime’s help remind me of this, that where one comes from and what they have learned is right, effects how they act toward the world. Often, in anime, even the “enemy’s” believe they are doing the right thing from their perspective. Even main characters do things that they feel is right, but end up wrecking more havoc than not having done anything. I suppose this is another big anime concept, the importance of choices, they never just effect us.

Self-sacrifice is crucial: 

Self-sacrifice for the general population isn’t a huge topic in individualist cultures like ours. Unless it is someone we love, sacrificing ones-self seems counterproductive (probably explains why we allow such a thing as a homeless veteran to happen). Often in anime characters will sacrifice their own selves to save the greater population from evil. I remember, even as a child, finding that fascinating. In many of these shows characters would literally sacrifice their lives or "life-forces" for the greater good, in hope of a better future. These were intense moments of both sadness and hope, such a strange combination. Don’t shield yourselves from that reality, it is the truth of freedom not being free. For life there is always death. Even our very own Jesus died, sacrificed His own self, because He knew how much we needed to be free.  

Forgiveness, Atonement, and Redemption: 

This is probably my favorite topics of anime. It is the intensiveness of true hope. The evil characters can be seen as trapped by their own evil, and also need saving. It is easy as people to fall into the trap of seeing other people, especially those who act in true evil, as the enemy. We see the cruel things they have done, and desire to see justice done (but we deserved justice too!). As Christians though, we must see them as they really are! Victims, captives of their own sin and evil. These are the people who need saving, the ones that are wrecked by pain and sin. Nothing brings me more pleasure than watching the character you thought was the villain in the beginning, see their mistake, ask for forgiveness, and find redemption. It isn’t instantaneous, often a journey ensues, or a search for atonement, but they find themselves later, fighting the very thing they were. It reminds me to have hope for people, all people. Jesus died for sinners, me, you, all of us. Every person has a chance, not all will take it, but there is forgiveness and redemption. If you forget one day, look into your own heart and see how you too need saving. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn says “the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being.” That is true enough.

Anyway, I am sure there are many things to learn from many places, these are just a few I noticed while watching some of my favorite anime. No go watch anime and look for these things!