Kiss from Heaven

It was a long day, mostly full of being an adult even when I didn’t want to. I got home upset, tired, and sore from a pulled muscle, and sat on my bed to prepare for having coffee with a friend. Taking deep breaths I readied myself to do my thing; listen, have good questions for them, and serve/uplift them in any way I could. You can imagine how surprised I was then, when they beat me to it! My friend insisted on driving, opening doors, making me go first, and even bought my coffee and pastry. They sat patiently listening to me, and asking about my life. My friend really truly cared! Sitting here now, I could just about cry thinking about how weird and fantastic it felt to have someone actually care about me the way I usually care about others (and probably do it better!). It was like I was special. Really special, someone worthy of special attention. I felt totally unworthy of such love. Even if it never happens again, I savored every moment. I was so blessed, it was like a kiss from heaven. I'll make sure to pass that on to others. :) 

And God Moved in Us; Jars of Clay

The spirit moved on us some time ago (see April 7th), and the Lord never fails to do as He says. More than we even imagined by far. This summer we ran over 120 teens for Revolution, it was amazing. We prepared the place, and God brought the people. To say we were prepared is a gross overstatement, but as a tight knit and hard working team we bolstered up each Tuesday night for six weeks to make it happen. After that we brought over 80 teens, four hours to our district youth camp. I am amazed and humbled by God and how he gives us what we desire, and what He has told us He is planning. The season is here, and I still don’t know what my roll is, but I am excited for it, even just to support in a small why what He is doing. I wish I could do this instead of work and get paid! If I could do this for the rest of my life, I think I would be ever so happy. Still, I find myself a little ill content. This is probably a failing of my own. I want peace, now I must pursue it with some effort.

Part of my discontent is also the jr. high ministry though. While we run good numbers, quite good despite the summer months being upon us, we struggle to facilitate a real passionate group. There is nothing in me that is content with it being a program; something to occupy them while their parents worship. I want for them to truly see Jesus, a Jesus most of them still don’t know or understand. Why risk? Why give it all if you don’t know Him really? I want to show them, but I don’t know how to. Maybe I need to learn to risk more, to think outside the box. I have ideas, but no idea how to practically bring them about. In my opinion we need three things still: Salvation, Cohesion, and Vision/Passion. They need to see Jesus, meet him in a real way, connect with each other (though service one has less problem here), and truly buy into the vision.

No one promised this would all be easy, far from it, we were promised a fire-storm. God is always there though, and we work toward His aim, facilitate His love and His mission. What else is there for me to do? 

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,”^[a] made his light shine in our hearts... But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 2 Cor 4

Where Beginners are Welcome: Starting to Understand True Worship

“Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying:

“‘Holy, holy, holy

is the Lord God Almighty,’^[a]

who was, and is, and is to come.’” Rev 4:8

Worship. An exclamation, a proclamation of worth. Proclaimed through actions, words, thoughts, and consistent adoration. Giving up something of yourself to show how great another is.

Worship, in many modern church's, seems to work on a formula. It goes something like: catchy, slightly repetitive song + dim lights = worship.This is not necessarily a bad thing, but we (the ones desiring to be a true worshiper) have a responsibility beyond halfheartedly bobbing our heads to the music. What many “worshipers” (or those distant participants in the formula) don’t seem to realize is, that true worship can’t be CREATED by a formula, or by anyone else, it can only be created by us; our own hearts. WE, as worshipers, as forgiven people, create in ourselves an altar and our own lives as the sacrifice on it. Noah built an altar, Moses built an altar, Isaac built an altar, and they did not expect someone else to build it for them, in the same way we build our own "altars" of worship.

Don’t get me wrong, I love worship music, I often leave it on during the day to help me focus and meditate on God. But worship itself flows out of the deepest parts of ourselves. Sometimes our grateful hearts find it easy; it just comes, and other times it’s a struggle. In those times that we don’t “feel” it, we need to realize that He still DESERVES it. Sometimes I just stand during worship segments in physical or mental pain and speak “Jesus” over and over.  Sometimes I stop and ask Him for more passion, for more desire. If I only know how to love, because He first loved me, it follows that He also helps birth in me more passion.

This week examine yourself in worship. Make up your own lyrics. Meditate on the words, and what they truly mean to you. Make a fool of yourself for Christ by dancing if you feel worship rushing through you. Worship when there is music and when its silent. Worship; proclaim out loud or in your heart (or through your actions, your boast in Him) how much He means, how great He is, every time He comes to mind. I am going to, or try to. I know my worship is still an offering of filthy rag’s compared to what He deserves, but He sees it as beautiful because we are in Christ. Be willing to make the sacrifice, and don’t expect it to always be easy. We're all beginners it seems, but He welcomes us to his holy place, ready for us to spend time with Him, how can we resist?

Thoughts on helpful worship progressions: Ask for forgiveness (so you do not try and enter the throne room dirty) -> ; meditate on the joy of forgiveness and the greatness of the sacrifice -> ; use the words to songs to help voice the thankfulness and elevation of God -> ; when those words are no longer sufficient, create your own words to lift as praise.

Can Rich People Go to Heaven?

The Bible shows snippets of so many lives, sometimes it’s easy to pass over them thinking “oh, that’s nice, people meeting Jesus.” But as rich Westerners, there are some encounters that should really catch our attention. One that has always stuck with me (with some worry) is the story of the rich man who wanted to be a part of the Kingdom of God (Matt 19:16, Mark 10:17). But he isn’t the only rich man mentioned by far, there are many others, some Jesus commended, and others he rebuked. Zacchaeus (Luke 19) is an interesting one though, because in all ways, the opposite of ‘the rich man,’ except that they were both wealthy, and both went out one day interested to see Jesus.

          Looking first at the story of the rich man, we see he comes right up to Jesus, confident, wanting to hear what more he could possibly do to make himself good enough to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. He boasts proudly that he has kept the commandments. But Jesus gently catches him, he sees immediately that the man has not kept the first and most important commandment, to have no other Gods. This man, upon hearing that the only way to get eternal life was through giving up every worldly possession to follow Christ, just left sadly. He was undone. He left knowing he had the choice of which master to serve. He came to Jesus assuming he had it almost all together, but that meant there was no room for Jesus, so Christ asked the man to make room. As far as we know, he did not.

          Now, unlike this “righteous” wealthy man, Zacchaeus (let’s maybe just call him Zac), came to Jesus a swindler; a thief; a sneaky little dude. He wanted to see Jesus, but instead of coming to him head on, he climbed a tree and waited. When Jesus saw Zac; truly saw him and loved him as he was, something changed in Zac’s heart. Maybe it was two sizes two small before but it grew! He came to Jesus with no such offers of a life that followed the rules, all he could do was take the offer of new life and change. He told Jesus that he was going to do something immediately , to give back what he had taken and much more. He held nothing back, because now he had something far more valuable. He found a God more important than money or good works. His emptiness had been filled.

          I think when Jesus talks about how hard it was for a rich man to Get into the Kingdom of God, in many ways he was talking about someone who thought they were already good, rich in themselves. This man had everything he could want, and desired nothing. Zacchaeus, came having all the same earthly possessions, but knew he had nothing to speak of integrity-wise, he was so far away from a good person, he desperately needed a savior, he was poor. We are called to live knowing we are wretched poor and needy without the grace of the cross. As soon as we lose focus on that, and begin to see ourselves as “pretty darn righteous” we may no longer be opening space to let God give to us.

Fasting- It's Like Killing "Me"... But In a Good way!

Well, I am finishing day 3 of a 21 day Daniel fast. Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t say that to brag on myself, but to brag on the Lord (who is teaching me so much already), and in hopes you decide to give it a try too. In so many ways I wish I had been doing this more regularly, it is such an essential discipline, and so few people practice it.

First, I am finding out how week I truly am. I literally feel like I am dying for some of my usual cravings, or really anything that I can’t have right now. Working at my job (a chocolate store) tonight, I found out that my mind could make up just about any excuse to convince me to take something sweet. It was amazing! I never knew how inventive my mind could be when it wanted something (I didn’t give in, thankfully). I feel my flesh starting to rebel against this already. It’s a terrible and wonderful feeling. I know my spirit is stronger, I won't let my flesh-self lead.

Also, toady I found out how much more important the word of God is that food (I knew it was more, but this was a particular potent experience). This morning I forgot to read my usual passage or two, though I managed to eat my fruit without forgetting. When we called the shop to check on my car, and found out they had forgotten to look at it, I threw an “adult”, righteous-anger-like tantrum. It was horrifying, I was horrified with myself. I knew it was time to jump back in the Word, felt better. And I thought the lack of food would be making me grumpy!

I have been learning about patience, and pressing in toward God. I know there is more of this to come. For some reason I expected immediate results, but they are not coming. Realistically I know though, I am going to have to press in further, and struggle more, before I break through to the answers I need. If (God forbid), I have to go another month than planned, I will. There are questions that NEED answers, I need direction, I need open doors, and there is a good chance I don’t even really know what I really need! I am expectant, I am pressing on. Join me if you dare to find out who you truly are behind your comfortable and well-fed façade! 

Faith Progress: Pilgrim’s, Israelites, and a Wanderer Like Me

Sometimes I stop and imagine my life like Pilgrims Progress. I sit quietly and see myself like Christian, pained, wondering, and fighting. Us both often feeling totally helpless, in a world that confuses and often tries to harm us. I see myself going to that old cross on the hill and watching my heavy burden roll back down the slope. We are similar in that many times it’s hard to tell the difference between allies and traps. I have always felt a strong connection to this character, the feeling of being a wanderer on a journey from somewhere you thought was home to your true home. Sometimes I feel like the path just disappears though, like I am walking around in circles instead of moving forward. I know what I want, and what I need, but how to get there seems like a total mystery. Especially when I hear God speak, I know His will, but it seems impossible. Do I decide that I am just walking around the strong walls of Jericho one more time (Joshua 6)? Or that maybe I failed to hear Him correctly and I am just stuck in a rut. How do I know if it is Jericho or not? Well, I guess if I look at scripture the difference between walking in the dessert for 40 years (Joshua 5) and walking around the walls is simply faith. The Israelites ran out of faith, stopped trying the impossible, and got stuck in a 40 year rut. While Joshua led the Israelites to do something ridiculous and impossible, in faith, knowing God comes through. So what am I really going to do? I guess it always comes down to that, and I'm still working on that. I have to just move forward like Christian, holding tight to my hope, knowing I can control only my own choices. I guess I just need to be the best representation of Jesus I can be, and if the opportunity He expressed to me comes, then I do the ridiculous. Faith is about as hard as patience sometimes, and together, wow, look out. But I want to see my life as an adventure, to see it in all of its beauty and all of its pain. I want to have faith that God will give me what I need, He knows what I greatly desire better than even I do. I think, like always, it’s time to pick my head up and keep walking like Christian. Time to deal with choosing Jericho.