Monday, May 13, 2013

Faith Progress: Pilgrim’s, Israelites, and a Wanderer Like Me

Sometimes I stop and imagine my life like Pilgrims Progress. I sit quietly and see myself like Christian, pained, wondering, and fighting. Us both often feeling totally helpless, in a world that confuses and often tries to harm us. I see myself going to that old cross on the hill and watching my heavy burden roll back down the slope. We are similar in that many times it’s hard to tell the difference between allies and traps. I have always felt a strong connection to this character, the feeling of being a wanderer on a journey from somewhere you thought was home to your true home. Sometimes I feel like the path just disappears though, like I am walking around in circles instead of moving forward. I know what I want, and what I need, but how to get there seems like a total mystery. Especially when I hear God speak, I know His will, but it seems impossible. Do I decide that I am just walking around the strong walls of Jericho one more time (Joshua 6)? Or that maybe I failed to hear Him correctly and I am just stuck in a rut. How do I know if it is Jericho or not? Well, I guess if I look at scripture the difference between walking in the dessert for 40 years (Joshua 5) and walking around the walls is simply faith. The Israelites ran out of faith, stopped trying the impossible, and got stuck in a 40 year rut. While Joshua led the Israelites to do something ridiculous and impossible, in faith, knowing God comes through. So what am I really going to do? I guess it always comes down to that, and I'm still working on that. I have to just move forward like Christian, holding tight to my hope, knowing I can control only my own choices. I guess I just need to be the best representation of Jesus I can be, and if the opportunity He expressed to me comes, then I do the ridiculous. Faith is about as hard as patience sometimes, and together, wow, look out. But I want to see my life as an adventure, to see it in all of its beauty and all of its pain. I want to have faith that God will give me what I need, He knows what I greatly desire better than even I do. I think, like always, it’s time to pick my head up and keep walking like Christian. Time to deal with choosing Jericho.