Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Bad day for flying

Did you ever notice that hawks don’t like to fly when there is no wind? The days that are the most calm you find them chillin on fence posts, in trees, and just not flying. Now, although I don’t fly, I do believe understand how they feel. Lately things have been comparatively easy for me; because of this I seem to have lost all effort to do anything productive at all. (Hence my writing this post instead of doing my Advanced Stat’s homework.) But I believe this is true for most people, the harder life gets, the more they try. It is in the hard times that we find the hero in ourselves. It is in the tragedies that we find out how strong we are, and in general, when life turns up the heat we start movin. Unfortunately that means the easy times we tend to relax and get lazy.

Admittedly, some people just give up when life gets “windy” instead of pushing forward and flying. Maybe its because they don’t know how wonderful it feels to fly, the huge feeling that accomplishing your goals gives you.


Walking from the gym to my car I could feel the cool wind kiss the sweat of my face and neck where my hair was pulled up. The gray clouds were like chalk above me and the ground was covered in ice. Everything seemed unusually still and you could almost taste the silence. I could feel each and every muscle as though they had a life of their own. Branches form the dry sleeping trees swatted at each other like a living skeleton band. A few ravens who like to perch in the leafless trees cawed mournfully at me, above their winter wasteland of dead things.

I say all this to say that though I usually dislike winter, today it seemed fanciful in my mind, and I loved its forlorn splendor

(photo thanks to google search and www.maxwaugh.com)

Monday, January 26, 2009

A poem I wrote


Many little treasures tiny and sweet
A hundred red gems that I want to eat
Fathers treasure and blessing to me
There mine for taking, completely free

Sweet like summer and red like the sun
Like beautiful days and kids having fun
Treasure like princes and dragons would hold
Like the stories our grandfathers told
© 2009

(photo thanks to google image search and mandmproduce.co.uk)

Sunday, January 25, 2009


I stood, yesterday, in front of our counter top stove pouring fruit into a cup for breakfast, feeling oddly ponderous. I guess it was the moody atmosphere that gray days give off, or maybe it was how much quicker life seems to be moving lately. I feel a little lost sometimes, maybe I was never meant to live such a fast passed life. Its on days that the world moves this fast, that I can’t help feeling a little scared. The future seems to clear sometimes, like I can almost reach out and touch it. But other times, it feels like its in a fog, and if I loose my step I may never find it again. It scares me to think that I may never find a partner willing to give their life to other people, and that I may be all alone. I really don’t know if I am strong enough for that. But I know there is no other way for me, I could never be happy doing anything else. So many people unconsciously devote their life to evil, and hurting others, I feel like it is only fair that I give mine to love, and healing others. But what can I do against so much pain, anger, and hate? I am just me. But God is my strength, and by His grace, I will make a difference in this world. I must.

I don’t spend much time thinking about cliché’s like destiny or fate, but it’s a little like that, I think. Not that I have to do anything, but that it is the only thing I could feel completely fulfilled doing. I don’t want to have gravestone the only thing I leave behind to the world. I can’t take anything with me when I die, that’s true, but I can leave things. I can help people, love them, and that love will go through them to others. I can be a part of some bigger picture. Sometimes I wonder if I died tomorrow if I would be happy with what I left behind? I don’t think I would be. I am afraid that I can be unkind, sometimes I hurt others. I wish so much, that I could take back those hurtful words. But I know I cannot.

May I continue grow, in kindness and love, that in my pain I won't hurt others.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Welcome, web wanderer. If you are reading this, you have stumbled into a less beaten path. This, of course, does not mean it is any better than a well-beaten path, and most likely worse. There is no rhyme or reason for this blog, except that I need a place to unleash my thoughts. Feel free to read what you want, or leave if you are uninterested. I do this writing for no one, but you may enjoy it if you want.