Monday, March 2, 2009

Expectency

About five min. ago I decided to be a good blogger and tell the world about my feelings, which would be the worst mistake of my life if I weren't the only one who reads this. So here goes:
It started last night, a feeling I have never had before. It is a feeling of excited expectancy, or something like it. This, of course, is not a terribly odd or eccentric feeling except that I have no idea what I am expecting. I feel as though my heart has inexplicably moved over and created more space within me. I is not a feeling of emptiness though, with Jesus I never experience that. It is more like there is extra space now, and it is being reserved for something beautiful. As I lay in bed last night I thought over what kind of things are beautiful to me, things I could fill this space with. I did some writing (which I may post later), which made me happy, but didn't fulfill this feeling. I looked at picture of horses, which usually makes me feel fuller/happier, but it didn't do the trick. I love my family and friends, and they make me feel whole, but they still didn't quite make me feel comfortable. I don't understand what I am waiting for, but it is maddening. I feel a edgy; or ready. For what I don't know though! With any luck this feeling will either go away, or I will find what I am looking for. I just wish I had a clue as to what IT is.
ANYWAY, that is my rant-on-record. Needed to get it out. :)

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