Monday, September 10, 2012

Still Longing for Heaven

It’s amazing the power that little life-things have. Some days just seem overwhelming, not because of one big thing, but a bunch of little things that just pile up. When the last thing hits ya, it’s usually a very well-aimed shot from the enemy. Somehow, he manages to find those places and ways that hurt most. That’s how I found myself crying in the dark, on a cold set of bleachers last night. I have no one to blame really, and I know part of it was because I had put effort into praying for some people’s salvation, and it ticked him off. Even knowing it was only an attack, my heart hurt so bad I felt like I would never stand again. Its rare for me to feel that really acute sense of pain. As another two friends and a brother prepare to move away, it stings again, and reminds me how many friends of mine are far out of reach.

In the same right though, it is those little things that God uses to call us back, remind us who we are, and challenge us to do better. I got to spend some quality time on the phone with a good friend, having someone to pray with me reminded me how much I appreciated those God has given me. It was a beautiful day that I woke to today, and a mother’s wisdom that calmed me and mentored me. It was God’s pressure on my heart that called me to forgive, and let the pain go, no matter what. And it was the pleasure of helping edit a friend’s testimony that reminded me of God’s great love. Reading it was like watching God work first hand.  

I write all this to say simply that life is this, up’s and down’s and surprises everywhere (good and bad). It’s hardly ever what I expect, and wonderful in its own way, but I still long for heaven. Every pain in my heart, every ache in my body, and every misstep I take reminds me I want to go home. Till then, I hope to be used greatly, that my many faults be forgiven, and my relationship with God to be ever increased.

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